


where the edge begins

by andrienaline



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 09:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8974963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andrienaline/pseuds/andrienaline
Summary: “Love of my life, fire in my loins, thief of my cereal—”“Hey! Cereal should be joint property by now.”“—I will never find anyone else who will steal just enough as you do.”Inspired by Addicted, episode 14.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [snsk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/snsk/gifts).



> happy 20th birthday, nad :’)

Martyn and Cornelia’s pre-wedding dinner was winding down. They had decided to host it in a small pub in Islington –  there was karaoke, tiny hamburgers, and an embarrassing speech from Phil involving Martyn and one of his old primary school girlfriends. Dan had watched Phil down three flaming shots in a row; for some reason, he felt the need to be inebriated with alcohol to make it through the affair.

The wedding was set to happen on the next day, so when the clock struck half past one in the morning the guests started to clear out, leaving behind Dan and Phil, Martyn and Cornelia, and a few of Cornelia’s bridesmaids. Phil, having consumed a bit too much alcohol than he should have, was sat on a stool with his head resting on his arms folded on the bar top.

“Old man can’t handle his vodka anymore,” Dan quipped.

“Are you sure you two can get home okay? Don’t want to call an Uber?” Martyn asked him while slipping his arms into his coat.

“I can handle him,” Dan mused. “Waste of money when the flat’s just a few blocks away.”

“Alright,” Martyn said. “Let me say goodbye to him then we can go. Philip!” he called out to Phil, still sitting at the bar.

“ _Martynnn_ ,” Phil exclaimed, slurring a little bit, lifting his head with a lazy grin on his face. “Brother. You’re about to get hitched! That’ss _so_ wild,” he continued, his words blurring into each other.

“Yeah, I am. And I don’t want you to still be drunk tomorrow. So you better get on home.”

“Don’t worry!” Phil said a bit too loudly. “Dan will take care of me, right, babe?”

Dan smiled. He rarely used pet names unless he was proper wasted. “Of course.”

Phil got up, walked over to where they were stood, and placed both his hands on Martyn’s shoulders. "I’m happy for you. I really am. Take care of each other okay?”

Martyn chuckled. “I will, I always have. See you tomorrow.”

 

Ten steps away from the pub, Phil straightened up, turned to Dan with a rather serious look in his eyes, and told him, “I want to go to our rooftop.”

 

The rooftop of their apartment building was a rather small space, but there was a homely-looking potted plant in a corner and a bench to sit on. So they sat in silence for a few minutes. Until Dan looked to Phil, ready to talk to him, and noticed that his eyes were red and beginning to fill with tears.

“Phil?” he asked, concerned.

“Martyn told me when he was twenty-two that he would never get married,” Phil mumbled, voice shaking. “He said he would never find someone who could put up with him. He was always quiet. He never went out and actively looked for anyone. And then a month after he told me he saw Cornelia in a coffee shop and spilled his drink all over her. And now they’re getting married.”

Dan stayed quiet. Phil let out a little sniff.

“It’s so easy for them, Dan. It was so easy for him to just get down on one knee and propose. It was so easy for them to plan this entire wedding. Incredibly easy. When will it be easy for us, Dan? Because I want to get down right now and ask you to marry me, but I know you’re going to wake up tomorrow and have to put your ring away because no one can know. I hate that, Dan. You don’t deserve that.”

He properly started to cry then, his head dropping to Dan’s shoulder. Dan felt tears starting to form in his own eyes, but he held back as best as he can, not wanting to make it any harder for Phil.

Phil continued. “I’m still scared you’re going to wake up one day and realize that you’re tired of me,” he whispers. “That you’re tired of how I can’t just go up to people and casually tell them we’re together. That you’re tired of hiding. That you’re–“

“Shhh.” Dan couldn’t resist at that point. “It’s been seven years, Lester. Do you honestly think I’m going anywhere? The end of the world as we know it could come for us right now and you still wouldn’t ever get rid of my sorry arse.” Phil let out a little watery laugh at that. “And besides, the “I’m-scared-you’re-going-to-leave spiel is mine! You deserve better than some whiny brat who’s still unsure about his future.”

“I would rather die than never hear you groan about the latest controversial post on the Kanye subreddit again.” Phil turned his face slightly into Dan’s neck, aware that his wet cheeks were staining Dan’s skin, but he didn’t care. Neither did Dan.

“Phil,” Dan said, wrapping his arm around Phil’s shoulder and placing his hand on Phil’s head, pulling him even closer, “there is no one who loves you more than me. I will wait until you’re ready to ask. I know you already have the ring at home, but if it takes you another seven years or so to ask, I’ll wait.”

Phil let out a quiet laugh. “How did you know I already have a ring?”

“You’re really bad at hiding things. It’s lovely. Exactly my type. I can’t wait to wear it.”

Dan took Phil’s free hand and kissed all of his cold fingertips, one by one. “Love of my life, fire in my loins, thief of my cereal—“

“Hey! Cereal should be joint property by now.”

“—I will never find anyone else who will steal just enough as you do. We’re it for each other, do you believe that?”

“Yes. I do.” Phil kissed Dan’s collarbone gently. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. But I always want you to remember, okay? You’re endgame for me. I’m okay with waiting until you’re ready. Whether it’s to propose or come out. I’ll always be here. It will get easy for us, too. I promise.”

And just like that, all the monsters in Phil’s head disappeared into the night.

**Author's Note:**

> (*/ω＼)
> 
> title is from trouble i'm in by twinbed.
> 
> if you've never watched addicted, please do. it's a beautiful show.
> 
> twitter.com/bisexualphilip


End file.
